FIFIFIED

2010-04-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

Exhaustion grips me as i am punching in every alphabet, every key. i thought i had abandoned the idea of loneliness, because i had embraced solitude as a sign of strength. but i should have known better. strength will never be rooted in this debilitated soul of mine. now that these hateful feelings have returned to taunt me, they seem so familiar, as though they are escapees from a forgotten dream. It is during times like this that i think about what it means to have zero expectations of others. sometimes i also think about cynicism and whether or not such dark thoughts are inherent or were they discovered by the parts of the heart that were brutally abused or betrayed. perhaps reliance has always been the the puppeteer. but intricately intertwined with those strings are masters of abandonment and despair, sadness and withdrawal. so what distinguishes dependence from yearning, and yearning from love? someone once said, the more you give, you more you expect. so the strings simply get tightened and more tangled? perhaps.

2010-04-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

It's been more than a month since I've been here, and the last time I entered, I was determined to have this place stagnant forever. There are too many shameless revelations about this world that I just had to stop myself from exposing them further. Hideous truths should be banished to the forgotten places so that us humans can continue living our lies. But tonight I fail to challenge the grotesque thoughts that possess me now, thus finding myself falling victim once again to the insidious ways of the mind.

The carnal obsessions we so shamefully worship, arent they merely the manifestation of our greed? Our temporal desires - they are but cheap means of indulgence. What defines sensual love from vulgar, lascivious immorality? In our haste to discover the worldly possessions one may own from exploring bodily excitement, the deep-rooted attachment in which affection is thus developed from is compromised.

Ah, affection. It is taken for granted. And more often than not, it is abused. I really like this strong connection I feel with people sometimes, but that connection usually proves itself sinister. Because one is experienced, and one knows what to expect from a particular speech or behaviour to that person, hence one builds on that connection and performs to his advantage. And so that affection that is displayed - is it genuine then? Or when one is used to the gift of another person's affection, one tries too hard to command that affection (or love) and adopts an ambiguous behaviour or even tells untruths, in the hope that he will be pardoned, if he doesnt manage to escape punishment. One may claim to be merely protecting the interests of the other and hence, "in all due respect", feed pretense. Honestly, I'm not a fan of elusive people. And by feeding pretense, one becomes elusive. Puzzling maybe? But I'd think more of slippery, even shifty.

I could never fathom those people who do or say things for the sake of achieving that outcome. In my opinion, such things are odious. Especially when those words serve the sole purpose of deceit in pretense.

Tonight I think about what's true and what's untrue. Or maybe, something that is true in itself is already unimaginable, and has the most elusive existence ever.

2010-02-21T06:41:00.001-08:00

goodbye, world. you bring nothing but despair.

2010-02-15T05:01:00.000-08:00

such a beautiful sight then, when it flew away. let's throw it to the shadows of regret and start again?

2010-02-14T08:11:00.001-08:00

i hate you.

2010-02-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

You know I'm crazy for you.

it's feb already ?! and so my precious friends have enlisted, new found bald pride yes and just as im typing this NGYUHUI JUST CALLED OMG !! life in there sounds really exciting :D :D yayyy miss you already yuhui, have funnnnnnnnn (:

i've been so crushed by exhaustion lately, it's pretty cool actually, getting up at 6am and returning home at 10-ish 11, sleeping at 1 everyday and it's been this way for quite some time now. not exactly mundane, it's quite thrilling actually, fulfilling too. glad it's gonna stop next week though, before it gets mundane, just the right dose of busy life i'd say. it's like clock-work, and im trying to keep it going all the time, but honestly, i dont know how much longer i can keep this act together.

2010-01-30T17:29:00.001-08:00

Do you remember?

I noticed pooh seated next to the washing machine, clean from its most recent bath. It was smiling still, even with the brand new scar slashed across its forehead. i know what you're thinking. another wound indeed. the white cotton insides were exposed and the skin around the area was crying out to be stitched back together again. pooh has had enough wounds and stitches for a 12 year old. i had just given it good stitches on its chest and leg last week and now its head is torn. what a sight to return home to after a painful day. when i hugged it today it seemed to have shrunk from when i was 5. i need to wrap pooh in plastic, so i can keep it clean without having to painfully send it to the wash, knowing it'll just come back to me with even more cuts and wounds. yet even with the countless stitches on its back, limbs and head, pooh still smiles. not the same smile though. the right side of its mouth droops now, which reminds me, i havent sewn that part back. nevertheless, it's a smile. it's strange how pooh always evokes such thoughts in me. because i am reminded of the harsh reality of how the most beautiful disguises will never be decoded by those who look but do not see.

Yes used to get whatever I wanted. they either came easy, or i'd fight till i had my way. but why does everything slip by me now? is it merely a case of clumsy hands or the problem of a lack of spirit? because ever since i bore my soul to the winds it never came back.

2010-01-30T17:24:00.000-08:00

run, run as fast as you can, you cant catch me, im the gingerbread man !
to my gingerbread man, good luck for your race later, i know it's gonna be a breeze for you (:

2010-01-27T17:05:00.000-08:00

could have loved you all my life if you hadnt left me waiting out in the cold..

so. to linger or fade?

2010-01-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

I WANT AN IPAAAAAADDDDD.

Read this ! :D Jessica Alba is SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY :D http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20100127/tap-lifestyle-china-health-film-us-alba-8d4ea94.html

2010-01-27T05:28:00.000-08:00

you failed me.

2010-01-25T05:02:00.000-08:00

HON. I WANTO SEE HON NOW. ):

junlong aka tigger ng rockss (: breakfast was.. HOT HAHAHHA. okay take care of your poor ankle junlong, get well sooooon thanks for coming down to accompany meeeeee :D and STOP perving at little girls it's revolting ):

waihouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu dont leave please i want you to extend your contract. otherwise i'll be really really grumpy girl at work ): thanks for everything you've done (:

im proud of you frogi, you're a strong one, we're gonna go so much further now (: and pekkk thanks for caring and asking about me, you and gy are really sweet, you're a lucky girl, hang in there (:

dearest dcwl, it's great to see you've become... hahah much more decent and frogi said, he looks like when i first saw him ! yes the memories indeed. you're enlisting soon, be good and dont learn from your jiefu k? (:

(P.S: may i have all 9 days of you?)

2010-01-24T02:58:00.000-08:00

If i were to text you everytime i thought of you, i'd be texting you 60 times an hour. do you remember?

2010-01-23T02:10:00.000-08:00

you're done using me.

2010-01-22T18:29:00.000-08:00

get those insecurities out of my headdddddddd
i dont wanto be cautious anymorrrrrrrrrrrreeeee
i wanto live in bliss againnnnnn
will you help meeeeeeee
because youre driving me crazyyyyy

and now i just put Kristinia DeBarge's doesnt everybody want to fall in love on replayyyy..

2010-01-21T06:01:00.001-08:00

they're telling me it's beautiful. i plead you, let beauty subdue ugly concerns.

2010-01-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

Dearest pek, you know how important you are to me. im sorry i ever neglected you, im still learning too. im not exactly the best girlfriend to have, i tend to get carried away with things. but 12 years - they're irreplaceable. i know it hurts you to see me like this, half the time i dont know what im doing too. i want fion back as badly as you do, but pek, i've long forgotten how it feels to be precious.

2010-01-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

I WANT TO WATCH IT'S COMPLICATED AND NY I LOVE YOU.

i wish we were living in the movies. so i could have a whirlwind romance, childlike innocence, desperate passion, and thoughtful consideration all at once.

2010-01-12T07:29:00.001-08:00

this is the third time im blogging today, only because there's too much in my head right now.

please dont threaten suicide anymore, you have no idea how much that thought kills me. will you promise to think of me, in no matter what you do? it really pains to see you so stupid, so foolish, so upset. when you played violin back then, i threatened to do the same, do you remember ? the scars on your flesh.. your wounds.. they stab me right here.. so much more. because whatever happens, i feel for you, i feel you. and it hurts so badly i know, ive been there and done that. you're not the strongest person on earth i know, and i will protect you. but you cannot fall prey to foolish despair, it's too much for me to take. you must stand firm, stand tall, and sway only the slightest bit, for i will be there to mould you back. you know how much i love you.

2010-01-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

Do you know how it feels to be wronged?

I used to fight back, to shout at whoever wronged me. I mean, why should i take things lying down? but the repeated firing of such events have begun to tire me. sometimes i feel so ashamed of trying to be, good enough. to be forgiven. to be trusted. so i just let things go and end up being more miserable instead. alot of us give up on ourselves as a result of having lost faith, and so we think that by abandoning effort, we abandon hope and subsequently chances of disappointment too. but that's deceit. somewhere at the back of our minds, we still long for acceptance and thus our thirsty souls will never be satisfied, nor will our beings ever be effected. yet when you gather your armour, shield, boots and all, you keep losing. so tell me, which alternative is worth the spirit's mind?

2010-01-12T03:45:00.000-08:00

I <3 KL (: and mousey and zishen and yuhui (:

im sick of being, stuck. confused. apprehensive. cautious. skeptical.
i dont want to be upset, hurt, disappointed, invisible.
i want, assurance. confidence.

i want to be mighty.
i will evolve into a mighty warrior.
and be seen, and listened to, again.

2010-01-03T05:15:00.001-08:00

had a great time yesterday i think eve wc and chuan are way cool. sherlock was alright, not as bad as i had expected it to be ! :D hahaha funny too. hmmm okay scott's great too and so is kaiyuan. yay fion has excellent friends and some are pretty interesting people too ! i'll be so boreddddd and unoccupied when munch mich return to schooooooooooool. dreadful school. and eve and chuan are starting work alreadyyyyyyy. and wing's groundeddddddd. and qi's not replying meeeeeeeeee. but almost everyone promises not to forget fion so im hoping it'll be fine (:

i think my parents are so cute, especially mummy she's so amused by rockband !! she looks so cute playing the drums :D

2009-12-21T07:20:00.000-08:00

dear dcwl, i finally get what you mean when you said having someone make negative predictions about yourself just hurts you. because it has happened to me.
dear dcwl, i finally get what you mean when you said you keep accomodating to my lifestyle and schedule you feel worthless. because it has happened to me.
dear dcwl, i finally get what you mean when you said the relationship was mundane because really, it's seven takes of the same old scene.
dear dcwl, i should have known better.

2009-12-19T04:25:00.000-08:00

in all randomness, to the mightiest dinosaur on earth (: thanks for your tender loving care since 291108, though sometimes not exactly tender at all hehe.

2009-12-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

I WANT TO STAY IN PANDORAAAA ! and be a native ! and ride those... whatever you call those bird-dinosaur(dino!) hybrids. and play with glow in the dark plants :D and hunt with bows and arrows and talk to trees and not fret about clothes wow this SOUNDS AWESOME (:

CUT HAIR !!

2009-12-16T19:01:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MY MUMMY !!!!!!!!!!!

KL, HERE WE COME !!!!!!!!

FEY UNITES HEHE + ZISHEN THIS TIME! (:

i think it's extremely amusing that tohahlings is working in kbox cause that place is so totally her world hahaha and that job's perfect for her. and yes that cute manager who interviewed her is definitely a bonus :D you go girl ~ HAHAHAHA.

2009-12-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

Absence makes the heart grow fonder? bullshit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINGER !!!!!!!!!! ah a pity im stuck at home otherwise i'd be busy disturbing you today hehe :D finally 18 and so you can watch m18 with me me ! cant wait to see you next tuesday yes some wc time finally :D

okay so back from bangkok getaway i tell you the place is SO DUSTY ): streets were horrid but we escaped to the shopping centres in the day so i guess that part was alright alright ! okay most of the trip was just eating and shopping and walking :D poor brothers and daddy didnt have much to buy hahah cause their fashion's kinda weird and guys dont really have much permutations for their accessories i guess : /

ROBOT !!! so handsome right !! :D
central world where we bought most of the stuff ! though the food's only mediocre. i prefer MK restaurants !

AHHHHHHHH i miss glennkohhh bring him back to me ):

2009-12-10T05:09:00.001-08:00

you took a hammer to these walls.

Ostensibly, the little boy did his best in mending his doll (yes that was only what it seemed like). she had a scarred face and broken smile, she knew she was nowhere near beautiful. which ugly doll was ever worthy? but she could still feel blood rushing through her veins with every dollbeat. she pressed on just so she could be with her owner forever. just as her smile was near completion, she heard her boy tell his neighbour's doll that his own doll actually deserved having such an ugly face because she had to be punished for trying to run over to the toy factory down the road- when she actually wanted to show that factory owner her doll tag, the tag that stated she already belonged to a household up that street. and when the little boy found out the truth he was full of remorse, he desperately tried to paint a smile on her nicely mended face, but the doll couldnt bring herself to trust that he truly wanted her back. it seemed like the doll next door or perhaps even any old doll picked up along the street were far more alluring. the poor doll felt herself becoming just an ordinary doll and somehow her blood stopped flowing and so the complete smile he so forcibly painted on her mended face never felt warm, and the scars on her heart started to show on her false lips. and eventually, no paint at all was suitable for her cold, hard face.

because our love was built on mistrust. i trusted from the start. i believed. but the response from you? doubt. insecurity. suspiscion. naturally, whatever trust and faith i had, however strong, were painfully eroded. then you had to cruelly expose your mistrust in me. and everything else just collasped uncontrollably, and it was then that it all made sense - no i still didnt understand how could you be so heartless, but it was clear that you had been working on the sly. and dishonesty is Odious. it Disgusts me. the last time i gave a second chance, he blew it. and he screwed up the third, too. as my heart wrenched in pain, i was swearing away. this couldnt be happening to me again. whatever happened to love and loyalty? loyalty. do you even have any idea what hurt feels like? not hurt in that sense, but hurt stemmed from the revelation of betrayal. do you? the issue here is not just about making me feel more incompetent than mediocre standards, but more so about ever so graciously announcing, " yes i think she will never match up to you, because everything about her is pretense."
you stepped on me so bad this time, futile attempts to get my heart pumping again just make this perceived faith so laughable.

So how do you rebuild a magnificent building on loose soil?

2009-12-10T04:29:00.000-08:00

Isn't it like Pinocchio, the puppet? When he found he could move without his strings, did he still look the same way at Geppetto?

2009-12-07T04:02:00.000-08:00

When the prince is away,
the mouse and princess go to play.

I LOVE EVELYN FOOFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (: ultra fun ikea + shopping. and she got herself a dress (: i helped to choose (: !!!! i started calculating my expenses today. and realized, i should do that everyday !! it helps to work on your conscience? mousey's gonna buy me a mini notebook so i can record my everyday expenses. so thoughtful i knowww(: and i didnt realized how much ive missed her poker face until today ! hahaha expressionless evee. love you (:

2009-12-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

it's a trade-off.

2009-12-06T03:31:00.000-08:00

i'll keep you my dirty little secret.

these people made the night so beautiful (:

GLAM GLAM GLAM a night of glam ! but i think fion was nowhere near glam, with all the running about ! so many pretty ladies with ultra hot gentlemen hehehe. and yay frogifong came with glennkoh (: i love the two of you (: and kicks doug for not turning up but ah well he redeemed himself at night after that so okay i forgive you douglas ng (:

and pekpek's birthday is round the corner I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED !!! :D :D :D my pek's finally turning eighteen :D

ikea with mousey tomorrow i love you evee foo foo :D

I AM AN IDLE RESOURCE, UTILISE ME NOW.

2009-11-30T06:51:00.000-08:00

Why is it always the smallest things that tear us down?

remember the girl who was dizzy with bliss, who told you that she would consider holding on? and now the hands that held hers that night are so familiar already, no doubt equally warm. different feeling from the first time they touched though. the heart pounding, adrenaline commanding type of excitement has been replaced by the fuzzy, soothing, blissful type of comfort. and she likes it. because it's a different kind of excitement now, you know those kind of innocent excitement you experience in anticipation of seeing the world after being deprived of light for 10 years? yes that's what overwhelms her each time she's headed down to meet him. and she was so afraid of letting those walls tumble down after trying so hard to erect them in protection of her wounded soul, but now, she realizes that had she been so stubborn in wanting to turn her scarred heart into stone, she would have let the essence of her entire life slip by.

2009-11-28T07:38:00.001-08:00

i think lcy rocks (: new moon was great, not lame at all LAH. hahahah super duper sweet :D :D must watch please !

i do not like having people refusing my calls. i am so so so tireddd i wanto sleep forever.

2009-11-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

Will you write my eulogy?

i need direction, a signal, or even an omen maybe. because i will not allow myself to be controlled by helplessness. yet it's coming to me so strong i try to fight it but i just end up feeling more helpless than before. i need to feel faith coming from you. but it hurts each time i sense the apprehension in your voice, your body language. i have failed before, too, but you have eroded whatever cynicism left in me and i chose to believe, to trust. you have no idea how precious my trust is. nothing else ever came close enough to that, ever since i was trampled on and made worthless, not even secondary to the most invaluable item on earth. still, i let you in. and now you're forcing me to retreat, in pain.

2009-11-25T07:24:00.000-08:00

everyday seven takes of the same old scene.

i love lynette yap and the day seemed so short todayyyy time's never enough when you're with hon ): i love you hon, and even if all your other friends get attached i'll always accompany you and i'll never abandon you (:

disappointment prevails.

2009-11-24T03:26:00.000-08:00

I know they gonna say our love's not strong enough to last forever,
And I know they gonna say that we'll give up because of heavy weather.

i love glennkoh (: he's the most adorable person in the universe (: !! (and im the sweetest :D)

MEETING HON TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWW, coolios :D and we were supposed to have indian food but uhh guess not after all, heeheee but will stick to something exotic still, like XXL MUSHROOM SWISS BURGER HAHAHAA. i passed the XXL challenge !!!! yes ultra many many fats there but yay it was awesome :D

i was looking at this year's prom photos ! sn prom. and we had ours like two years ago already ?! ahhh i still remember everything about it ! and michellefong's in every piece of memory. i miss you frogi ): and prom this year will be so different it's not gonna be as special as the one we had together.

(But how can they understand that our love is just heaven sent?)

2009-11-23T05:28:00.000-08:00

okay munch's next to me now ! doing his stupid report.

2009-11-21T16:52:00.000-08:00

Lying alone with my head on the phone, thinking of you till it hurts.

you were supposed to say, no everything's gonna be fine cause you're always important and your perception is skewed. i want to be with you through the last of your papers. i need you as much, if not more, than your needing me.

and not readily agree to disappear now.

2009-11-18T04:57:00.000-08:00

You can touch my hair, and touch me everywhere.

OH MY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROGI ! it's a bit late cause i spent so much time in your school that day i desperately had to adjust back to exam mood hehh. by doing stuff like sleeping early and drinking more water :D great you like the flowers HANDPICKED BY THE RABBIT, which explains the perfect colour combination (: plus great job done by sherwin teehee. and the snailmail which got to your frogi pond in one piece, SUCCESS. i love you michellegreen.

regarding the article about hot shorts being too hot for comfort, i think it's unfounded ! hahahah i mean come onnn it's for convenience right. i mean, having cloth wrapped around your thighs is just super uncomfy. shorts over skirts anytime :D well wearing shorts most of the time just makes wearing skirts and other stuff like leggings and dresses even more precious no :D

OH YES FOUR PAPERS TO GO AND IT'LL BE TIMELESS FROM THEN. OMG ! and munchy koh promised me 2 weeks like WOW hahahaha 2 weeeeeeeeeeeks. stupid guy. blame my everlasting tolerance for his good fortune HEHEEE. meeting frogi wogi tomorrow YAYYYYYY (:

Cause I'm a Barbie Girl.

2009-11-13T00:10:00.001-08:00

REJOICE ALL, IT'S THE LIBERATION FROM THE CURSE OF MATH WHEEHEEEHEEEEEE ! though it wasnt fantastic and perhaps not even manageable it's over now and my rebel tendencies are to blame.

frogi turns eighteen on monday (: horrid econs paper that deprives me of making the birthday surprise perfect. but it's time for someone else to perform now and who knows he may outshine me ): ): ): but nobody else can love frogi more than i do !!!!! that's mine to reign.

i had this very strange dream that night. but after all my sub conscious mind did choose to go with you, so im even more convinced now that this is what i want. i love you munch (:

2009-11-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

THANK YOU ALL !!!

okay! first up !

yay first eighteenth celebration with historic ghc, heeheee love them to bits. thanks maine qi lays serrrrrrr :D:D:D yes that's my favourite cake you see there ! heehee after years of triple decker and chigaco cheesecake here comes the original mango cake :D :D :D :D

next up was THE DINO! YAY breakfast was tasty, plus yummy cakeeeeeee :D totally surprised surprised !! love dino !!!! photo of cake with her and her phone's flat AS USUAL. show off next time ! :D

MOUSEY gave me such adorable earstuds, ultra cuteee i cant bear to wear them. plus that letter you wrote, totally meltzzz evee :D thankew ultra much, hearts hearts :D :D

and AUNTIE ANNAAAAA it's been years since ive met you and you called all the way from HONG KONG you have no idea how excited i was to hear your birthday wishes (: i really miss you and since you've been gone all other maids were horrid ): come back to sg to play and i'll bring you out auntie (: i love you and i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu (:

finally last night it was the ultimate celebration with fion's favourite people in the world michellefong and glennkoh ! :D okay so here's the part where i defame doug for not turning up hee. but okayyyy still hearts doug cause he still wished me ! (: okay so dinner was great and we had steamboat like wow fion having steamboat HAHAH i can explain ! cause mich and glenn wanted it ! not me ! :D and blur munch got us dark chocolate fudge cake HAHAH dark choc. (: but i loved it anyway :D thanks for the camera and slippers and spray and roses (: (: they're so pretty (: thanks frogi and munch i love you (:

and thank you all who wished me yesterday, haha including nana who wasnt on time ! :D i miss you nana.

okay cant wait for more good food tonight with dad mum brothers aunt heeheeeeee :D

2009-11-04T02:29:00.000-08:00

This Is It.

MJ's hands are seriously awfully hot ! extra extra large hands are honestly hot hoho. so movie time with marcus was great, fion loves marcus lotxzxz (: MJ's really such an icon, so stunning, it's really awesome how talented he is, and the respect he commands both on stage and back stage is indeed powerful. watching the MJ, the vocalists dancers and the whole crew prepare for the concert brought flashbacks of what we used to be involved in back in sn. people like danfong chuwen ser and qi, from being freshies in sec one to experienced old ones in sec four, we learnt and we grew and our hard work paid off at every applause, curtain call, and tears of joy and relief certainly piece together the essence of every production. the sense of belonging that rushed through me everytime we took to the stage is unrivaled and i really, really, miss you all.

go away, you filthy mood swings.

2009-11-02T01:37:00.000-08:00

`I was never engineered to possess the ability to handle setbacks.

she couldnt stop them from trickling down her cheeks, they were far too aggressive. then she thought, let them be, perhaps they'll stop bothering me when its done. so she kept running and running and pushing herself harder and far too soon she didnt even know what she was supposed to think, because everything was jumbled and scenes and voices and screams and noises were fighting too hard to reign. the pressure was unbearable but she just had to go on. it started raining all of a sudden, one of those freak weather moments again. soon after, her tears become unrecognizable from the rain and she simply just let go.

if the imagery that forms now is one of helplessness and pathetic inferiority, we're on the same line.

2009-11-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

LAYS HAS AN EXTREMELY BIG HEAD !!! (: my hand looks huge in the picture though, totally cool :D i heartx ghc !!!! gonna list everything in detail next week (: fion's extremely appreciative, you can be sure of that (:

simple texts like these steer me away from self pity, thank you all (:

I.M.M.
munch rox my sox <3

2009-10-28T18:02:00.000-07:00

I'll never match up.

try as i might, incompetency in me is simply too apparent. sometimes i try to compel myself into believing that im just being ridiculous, but those scars keep threatening to resurface to remind me of every lie. and forced beauty. because i know just too well that ive lost all talent of being superior.

2009-10-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

you've built my castle with your arms.

im losing this war, and it's too late to turn back now. face it, procrastination is the undoing of my life.

as i listened to the sound of your heartbeat, i wished it would be forever true.

2009-10-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

[But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.]

you must catch my sister's keeper because it makes me so in love with anna's father, he's extremely extremely sweet (:

sometimes i get so caught up with trying to make out what that voice is telling me i fail to listen to my calling.

she wanted to reach out to him so badly, because she desperately needed to touch him to be sure what she was feeling inside wasnt a lie. and so she smoothly slipped her hand, quite stealthily, on his thigh and he immediately held it tight, as if he never wanted to let go. it was then she became dizzy with bliss. she wondered if he knew, that she would consider holding on.

2009-10-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

sometimes i cry so hard from pleading.

2009-10-17T06:06:00.000-07:00

i wish you'd unfold my paper heart.

ah had my jab yesterday and it was hell painful but brave fion bore with the pain (: yay to glenn for accompanying me ! hahah ultra sweet letting me bully you and all yay you're great (: and frogi dear i cant wait to see you again on mondayyyy my sexaye (: and HAPPY BIRTHDAY IGGY !! i think your chin's disappearing cause of the amount of nicotine you're consuming everyday so STOP SMOKING already okay you're hot enough without the unnecessary smoke yes (:

i was catching up with jacq just now, and sometimes what she says really sets me thinking. i know i always worry beyond reason, it's simply innate. so ive argued so much with the people i love because of my unfounded worries, ridiculous things that they could never reason with. so jacq said, dont think about the future, it kinda spoils the the present doesnt it? well perhaps it really does.

remember those walls i built? now im beginning to doubt their potency, but still i will be awfully impressed by the one who makes me realize that they no longer serve their purpose.

2009-10-15T06:43:00.000-07:00

2009-10-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

Uncry these tears.

i remember this passage we were forced to read back when we were sixteen year olds. it was calling out to us to stop being sensitive, to cease all efforts in trying to please the world. because the more we try, the more we expect others to do the same, and we'll just be disappointed each time. it's only natural to expect. and it's true we'll just get disappointed. it's not just about pleasing the world, but also about trying to get what you want. sometimes we must accept the reality that love doesnt work that way. i was only half convinced then, but i cant be more certain now.

why do pretty girls always get to be unkind and curt towards others and get away with it?

well, that's centuries of agreement there.

hahah, 500 days of summer totally rocks and yes what is said in the show is really quite my sentiments too (:

when i was conceived, they knew i would be a warrior. daddy has always taught me to be brave, strong, fearless. he says it's all in the mind. he dotes on me so much, and makes allowances when he can so i know i Am loved, i Am cherished. he tries to protect me from harm, yet he also tells me grotesque, cynical stories about the world, in the hope that i will be prepared for the revelation of the odious ways of the world. so i musnt disappoint him. whenever i cried, they'd show they pained too, but i always grew stronger each time, because daddy would say, this is the way the world works, you must learn to brave the storms, because daddy cant hold out the winds for you forever. and so when i reach the verge of surrender, i remember his words, and i am courageous again.

yes i love you frogi, because you're the one who makes me, believe.

2009-10-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

This is a battlefield. I am a warrior.

and there's little time for self-pity, but the struggle for power between faith and abandonment is seemingly eternal. so will you please let the dictator of discipline take control of my whole being, i need it more than anything else right now.

2009-10-10T05:53:00.000-07:00

The Ass got hit by sexy cupid.

i think kicking up a fuss about the PSLE math paper is just ridiculous. i mean, the candidates are allowed to use calculators !!! like, back then we were forced to be experts at mental calculation. now? my brother uses the calculator for every calculation. primary sixes are just handicapped. kicking up a fuss just shows plain immaturity because there's no point in setting a manageable paper cause then the smart ones will not be identified. there's still the bell curve anyway.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHU HAN (: i dont want my 18th birthday to come anytime soon ):

i dont want school to come to an end either. then i wont see people like evee jun isis charlene junling everyday. ): then i'll be a really grumpy girl ):

mummy says we're going away on 4th dec. does that mean i'll have to skip prom? but frogi and hon and i are supposed to sleep tog after prom ): nooooooooooo.

dinner at whampoa. as usual memories and emotions just took control, threatening to destroy the composure i had managed to employ. because everything about whampoa is just too familiar for comfort. i tried to fight all recollection of us walking to the shops, watching tv at home, screaming away trying push each other off the bed. gone are the days i lived in bliss. and tonight i have succeeded in shutting out my thirst for love, desire and belonging. baby arent you proud of me already?

2009-10-09T07:13:00.000-07:00

as i repeatedly make feckless attempts to command my soul, i am again reminded of my pathetic incompetence. the realisation of the brevity of power and contentment is just too much to bear. will you hold me please, before the last of me crumbles too.

2009-10-09T03:31:00.000-07:00

"do not ride your bicycle around the corner," the mother had told the daughter when she was seven.
"why not!" protested the girl.
"because then i cannot see you and you will fall down and cry and i will not hear you."
"how do you know i'll fall?" whined the girl.
"it's in a book, the twenty-six malignant gates, all the bad things that can happen to you outside the protection of this house."
"i dont believe you. let me see the book."
"it is written in chinese. you cannot understand it. that is why you must listen to me."
"what are they, then?" the girl demanded. "tell me the twenty-six bad things."
but the mother sat knitting in silence.
"what twenty-six!" shouted the girl.
the mother still did not answer her.
"you cant tell me anything because you dont know! you dont know anything!" and the girl ran outside, jumped on her bicycle, and in her hurry to get away, she fell before she even reached the corner.

2009-10-05T00:19:00.000-07:00

Perhaps Charlene was right about impending doom.

I noticed pooh seated next to the washing machine, clean from its most recent bath. It was smiling still, even with the brand new scar slashed across its forehead. i know what you're thinking. another wound indeed. the white cotton insides were exposed and the skin around the area was crying out to be stitched back together again. pooh has had enough wounds and stitches for a 12 year old. i had just given it good stitches on its chest and leg last week and now its head is torn. what a sight to return home to after a painful day. when i hugged it today it seemed to have shrunk from when i was 5. i need to wrap pooh in plastic, so i can keep it clean without having to painfully send it to the wash, knowing it'll just come back to me with even more cuts and wounds. yet even with the countless stitches on its back, limbs and head, pooh still smiles. not the same smile though. the right side of its mouth droops now, which reminds me, i havent sewn that part back. nevertheless, it's a smile. it's strange how pooh always evokes such thoughts in me. because i am reminded of the harsh reality of how the most beautiful disguises will never be decoded by those who look but do not see.

Yes used to get whatever I wanted. they either came easy, or i'd fight till i had my way. but why does everything slip by me now? is it merely a case of clumsy hands or the problem of a lack of spirit? because ever since i bore my soul to the winds it never came back.

2009-10-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

HAHAH was reading the article MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. seriously, not stepping in to interfere in domestic violence displayed in public is just selfish and cowardly and ridiculous. and we all thought singaporeans were kaypo? seems not. well maybe only when it comes to gossip like who broke up last night and who ran away from home this morning. but stepping in to help a poor lady abused by an aggressive boyfriend? no way. and this other gentleman was ultra cool. it was reported that he stepped in to say, this is no way to treat a lady. then when the guy retorted it was none of his business so he said, it is if you lay a finger on her. oh my oh my the world is in desperate need of more gentlemen ! :D

okay pizza hut with lb and co today ! plus mahjong. seriously all the tiles are identical, or at least similar. yes ate till i felt fat again as usual. seriously they are a bunch of jokers but no doubt we had fun (: and pebble is not a bitch she's a male dog, so active and wild and crazy. and an extremely spoilt dog indeed, what dog chooses to walk on the pavement instead of the grass and refuses to budge unless she is carried? reminds me of evee's ultra pampered dog, wong choy (oh my same surname :/) ! her dog had personal mini doggy fans for himself, blasting at full speed when evee and i were dying of the heat in the living room which had no fans for us -.- sigh some dogs just lead better lives than i do. and it's so pathetic for me to compare myself to a dog ):

frogi's coming over during study break YAY my warrior my saviour, man of my life :D

2009-10-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

Miss Retrosexual.

been revising Chinese with marcus lately and boy is it tough ! like wth is ming4 ming2? it's hell tough but i hope he secures an A though ! yes it's 4 days to his big day and i think 37 to mine? MEGA SADNESS. wait sounds like we're getting hitched. AHHHHH im going crazy. it must be the p6 chinese. and MATH. lots of fractions and percentages i have no clue how we survived primary six.

never liked others to ignore my texts nor disregard their content, but when you're concerned i guess im used to it and it doesnt even bother me now. so rest assured and go ahead, and if what we share is strong enough we'll still feel each other nonetheless.

oh it's the invasion of the ulcers, how timely, just when there's pizza date tomorrowxz ):

I WANT TO CATCH STOMP ):

you know, ive been frowning so much lately i think i have developed a perpetual frown >:(

[it's been a while since i watched from the side.]

2009-09-30T03:39:00.000-07:00

back to sn was such a revelation of love, belonging, and everything else sweet and sentimental. how we used to walk around with belts undone, arriving in school early in the morning just to stroll about to the specs stand to pass the time. getting back scripts in the drama studio, mph. fooling around in the classrooms, fam lounge. my most beautiful memories. and those moments i relish, always bring me back to thoughts about frogi wing hon. and needless to say the 1o1 eye candies we had.

what makes michelle fong so special? well nothing makes me more complete.

2009-09-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

i think fann wong and christopher lee are so sweet together (: dont like the bride but i think christopher lee is just so thoughtful such a gentleman :D watching their wedding right now ! and i think the photoshoot went beautiful (:

btw i think polygamy is UNACCEPTABLE. i quote, "what's wrong with sharing your husband? ive been doing that for 30 years now." wth that's just ridiculous thinking.

caught ugly truth hahaha it was HILARIOUS. some parts were confusing though ! but overall funny and cool :D and dinner with mousey was just <3 i love evelyn foo (:

oh my meeting frogi early in the morning tomorrow, this couldnt get any better :D

such immature thinking and now i've lost you forever.

2009-09-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

IVAN LEE can we please go back to japan, i promise fion wont hurt you again. if we could do this all over again, i wont be such a bitch no more.

2009-09-28T04:54:00.000-07:00

i used to be love drunk.

do you know how it feels like to simply, exist but not live?

ive made my mistakes, now ive got nowhere to run. really, so sick of this life. even the melody doesnt sound rich no more. and why do people evolve so quickly? i mean, how one can simply, forget? doesnt sentiment mean anything at all? because you cant conveniently abandon your old toys for new ones, they'll be so attached to you they'll haunt you forever. either with hatred, or with vengence. sweet, sweet vengence.

(but now im hungover)
"everything else may be transient but i'll always be here."

2009-09-28T04:40:00.000-07:00

i came back to life today.

thanks to frogi (: totally walked till our legs were sore and we kept sitting down for food and drinkkkk hahaha need more practice frogi :D and iggy came along for lunch YAY he's so retarded hahahah. "CAN YOU IMAGINE JUMPING DOWN FROM THERE MY BALLS WILL SHRINK LAH." haha he's just comical (: i hope he gets commando though i think it's way cool. thanks for your time frogi, you know how important you are to me (: cant wait to see you on weds, sn here we come !!

michelle gabrielle fong is the sweetest thing and no one can possibly be more important than her.

2009-09-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 82ND MAMAAAA :D

hahaha finally prawning plan is underway. three cheers to evee (: well somehow prawning always paves thoughts to dcwl. 261108, some mad girl almost went prawning in her prom dress. hahaha thinking about now it's really funny :D hahah and mike daddy was just, always so comical. back then we really were fearless, werent we?

I MISS KIWI TO BITS ALREADY ): cousin time out is always awesome.

because anywhere else, one's always being judged.

2009-09-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

(how about being my weekend lover instead?)

thanks lb for being so patient and sweet always (: for always bringing jacket water tissue and joy and love, and for bearing with my extremely bad temper. (:

very very exciting week up ahead yes, with time for frogi (love) and evee (love) and dino at ntu!!! i really really really miss LYNETTE YAP ): cause my hon rox my sox :D i think hwach is mad. poor hon and qi ): all because of hwach's total drive and motivation i dont think i'll get to meet qi until.. 2 weeks later. that's mega tragic. ): oh got to see frogi for like 10 mins todayyy!!!! it was a quick one cause she left me for time and FOOD at timbre. slaps.

TEO PEKPEK ! you must be stronggggg cause gy's returning in.. think 18 days or something. hahah have fun smelling those flowers until his return :D had fun with you, you're always full of fun and crap :D
[and i think gy is awfully sweet.]

bumped into so many people today! awesome people like joanne ang and lam danfonggg. miss you two hell lot. sigh i need to catch up with these people ):

something to look forward to, IM SEEING KIWI TOMORROW OMG !!!! happy 82nd birthday grandma (:

i love michellefong <3

(Then the passion flirts again.)

2009-09-23T05:15:00.000-07:00

SHANE IS SO ULTRA SWEEEEEET. MELTZZZZ (:

2009-09-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

i need a sweeter concoction.

2009-09-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

we've come thus far and we'll press on and emerge victorious. love you dear dear winger (:

i was watching Kseniya Simonova's performance and hell she's totally my idol now she's ultra uber talented to the max !!!!

"anw i did mis you". and that was all i needed to make it through the night.

2009-09-17T03:13:00.000-07:00

Yes you'll be in my heart, no matter what they say.
(because they just dont trust what they cant explain.)

2009-09-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

as i watched the tragedy unfold, i heard myself scream.

2009-09-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

I'm losing this war.
complacency killed me, and realization won't save me now.
so i beg for drive, determination and dauntlessness.
[but desperation prevails instead.]

2009-09-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

i hereby hail toh junling as Fion's Idol. all hail the legendary toh (:

2009-09-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

ohh yes, I am The Great Pretender.

2009-09-07T00:49:00.000-07:00

why do i have so many inadequacies?

everytime i try to remember when i was last able, it always feels like a familiar dream. but i always wake up before i dream the end. because i stopped trying, far too long ago.

2009-09-06T04:22:00.000-07:00

i need sleep.
it's as if there's something robbing me of my sleep each night. and so everyday passes without life nor purpose. perhaps i need Dr. Conrad Murray, and maybe only then will life come back to me.

2009-09-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

The person whose sexual strategies involve coarse jokes and explicit gestures, who stampedes toward his goal without taking "no" or "not yet" for an answer, is looking for sex of the wrong kind - sex in which the other is a means to excitement, rather than an object of concern. Entered into this frame of mind, sex is not an accepting but a discarding of the other, a way of maintaining an iron solitude in the midst of union. That is why it is so deeply offensive and why women, especially, feel violated when men treat them this way.

2009-09-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

i had the strangest dreams. i dreamt twice last night, kept drifting in and out of sleep. somehow.
here comes the funny part! i dreamt that i had a new younger brother like whaaaaaaaaat? and so did kiwi HAHAH. hmmm both around ten months old! and i almost suffocated my "brother" accidentally ): then i was quite scared but when i looked at him he smiled back at me and was alive (:

as i fell back asleep, i felt myself falling again. i didnt open my eyes to break the fall, i just let myself be taken away. it was one of those dreams again, those dreams ive always had. those that command andrenaline to conquer. so i ran. and trepidation, palpitation, anxiety overwhelmed my whole being. again, i didnt know where i was running to - just somewhere, away from where i reside. chasing dreams are not unfamiliar to me, and running away in those dreams is just not unexpected. it's been a while since i last tried running away. perhaps it was my strength that fought away those dreams. yet it lost last night. now i recall those dreams i had. were they really nightmares? some recurring ones, perhaps they are. sometimes i wake up, knowing ive made a sweet dream in the night, but somehow memory just fails me. yet it's strange how i recall so vividly those dreams of escapism, and everytime i dream of running away again scenes from past nightmares flood in and i just feel weak all over again. everytime that happens, i feel as if i have lost the fight. those dreams have a common motive : to show me that any attempt at running away is fruitless.

as she cried herself to sleep, she wished so hard you would be there to hold her, but even as she tried to imagine that was so, she knew you may always be too far away.

2009-09-03T04:29:00.000-07:00

i really thought beer and wine were the same ): sigh sighzz. and oh my goodness the drama that took place yesterday morning.

i must push away the urge to take off right now. i must stop hoping you'll take me away. i must, but whether or not my strength will reign, im afraid to know.

dearest you, i'll do anything to make things better for you. even if you become frail and hunched over, you'll always be, my Star.

2009-08-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

it's when you dont feel beautiful anymore, because even as a good on resale, you'll never be good enough. you're not even aesthetically pleasing, needless to say beautiful in any other sense.

2009-08-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

It started with the perfect kiss then,
but we really should have felt the poison set in.

baby as you cried and held me today, agony ripped me apart. you know that the first hands i held, were yours. and holding them today, it felt all too familiar again. the way my hands always fits so comfortably in your big hands - they have always felt warm, and mine tiny. baby as i looked at you today i saw right through. as i witnessed your precious tears rolling down when you were telling me you arent happy now, i died inside. as you told me she doesnt understand you like i do, baby i really was screaming inside. in just one year with you, ive experienced so much, felt cried heard and said. but baby please be strong, and be happy again. you tell me you were wrong, you're sorry, but please dont be. i thank you for the memories and all the love you gave to me. because back then, i was really protected, pampered, and powerful. you opened up the world to me, and let me see things from your world. baby the place in me you've so cleverly stolen will never die, because i'll always, always, love you.

2009-08-28T05:05:00.000-07:00

fyi, im not Plan B.

while i can feel the dictator of boredom pulling me apart, i desperately need to focus. i need drive, gusto, and most importantly, faith.

2009-08-26T02:17:00.001-07:00

"she took my breath away."

at least for me, you're one whom i'll want to care for, and definitely reassure. how can someone who needs constant assurance be arrogant? it's ridiculous.

I NEED TOWN THERAPY. NOW. goodness luckily im meeting hon this friday. it's the perfect getaway for now, i love you love you hon, im so grateful to have you. thanks to you im still sane ! sigh hon (:

ZOMG HOW MANY DAYS TO THE BIG P AGAIN?!

2009-08-26T02:06:00.000-07:00

i know it's a hint. however subtle it was, i got it. every trace of me will be erased, and they will lie silently against your walls, sandwiched between your new lifeline and the cold, hard concrete we so blissfully made ours. my handprints, footprints, girl figurine and all, will disappear as you move on. well those drawings and writings and prints have been there for 20 months anyway. and i foolishly thought they would have been there forever, akin to how those scenes with you are etched in memory.

and baby as you sang last night it felt all too familiar.

2009-08-24T02:15:00.000-07:00

To have to reluctantly admit that selfishness is inevitable.

as it gets increasingly tough to meet solace and content, company becomes too unfamiliar an idea, and somehow independence beckons. and so i have a find a way to detach independence from numbness. before I get lost.

2009-08-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

YH IS AWFULLY GOODLOOKING. HANDSOME HANDSOME HANDSOME HANDSOME !!

2009-08-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

`baby why does it still hurt now?

finally got my touch yayy (: like the trip down to dhoby plus squeezing in the bus, totally worth it yupp. thanks kiwi (: and lb :D

my brother's the cutest thing, i hope he does reasonably well for his PSLE chinese oral :D like chinese oral sounds so long ago !

I DONT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOOOOOL ): yet the drilling at home's making me mad. AHHHHHHH I WANT TO ESCAPE.

well dear dear violet says she uses my quote really often, that we will never get over what we have lost, until we find a new one. sigh sighz, fion and her words of wisdom :D hahah and she is seriously such a loud girl yknow, like luckily the canteen was half empty when she totally shouted across to me? damn cute. violet leeee i love love you alot (:

[but somehow i just cant seem to be, whole anymore.]

2009-08-18T07:14:00.000-07:00

will you step forward, brace yourself and fall freely, or turn behind, and run away before you change your mind?

charlene's the bomb. anyway ! school's been such a dragggg lately. it's become so, monotonous. so i went for xiaolongbao therapy today wheeeee :D ate like xlb fried rice doumiao pudding and the appetizer ! omg short escape, but that worked (:

DEAR DCWL WHY ARE YOU ILL AGAIN ?! stop indulging in alcohol nicotine tobacco ): nah you never listen anyway ! you never do as you're told, and strangely, that draws me, still.

i meant it when i said i wanted to be taken away. perhaps not by melody and rhythm, but by love joy and hope.

2009-08-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

I closed my eyes,
and dreamt you were there.

(dreamt.)

2009-08-14T03:14:00.000-07:00

BITCH.

2009-08-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

dearest Lim Eve, thank you. i love you i love you i love you, and i love you (:

2009-08-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they dont come out right?

the noise is mad. renovation works outside and they're hacking the walls and stuff, TERRIBLE NOISE POLLUTION. i wanna go mama's house ): but lunch today was great we went to jai thai and SAW SHAUN CHEN HE IS SOOOOOO EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING, GOODNESS ! his children will be super good looking too, because no matter how much crossing over or recombinants occur their features will still turn out so beautiful because both he and michelle are so good looking!!! SHAUN SHAUN SHAUN! :D

THANKS DINO FOR DISNEY PRINCESSES FAIRY TALE VOLUME THREEEEEEE! yayyyyyyyyyyye !! frogi must hurry come over and watch with me ! caught UP yesterday. IT'S SO SWEEEEEET!! mega sweet and touching and sweet and touching! carl and ellie :D seeing old couples holding hands on the streets always makes me feel warm inside, they walk slowly but steadily, taking each step as if they have all the time in the world. sometimes i wonder if their hands feel the same to each other, whether holding hands when you're 80 feels the same when you held half a century ago. do you think it does? these old couples are really lucky people. and secretly i, wanna be lucky too.

i want to sleep in tomorrow. i want to sleep, until you come and whack me with a pillow to wake me up, just like what you said you would do. but everything is just fun talk, you dont remember what you say.

[But that smile you're wearing
Is a beautiful disguise.]

2009-08-11T06:04:00.000-07:00

the perfect disguise, because i need (you).

2009-08-10T07:37:00.003-07:00

HI FION IS BACK.

time on saturday was awesome. thank you all who turned upppp, really made all the cleaning worthwhile :D and yay so many prezzies, will put on another 5 kilos finishing the snacks too :D nicoletham invited us up after that and her house is SO NEAT. it's SPOTLESS. just great that my parents went up too and were totally impressed yupp. anyhow, i enjoyed the company yayes (:

such a strong wind last night, the curtains were flapping wildly, and my sleep was interrupted ): got up to close the windows but couldnt fall back asleep. and the curtains were still flapping ! so i got up again and realised the wind pushed open the windows again :/ so i had to lock the windows ! i thought there was an impending hurricane and doom was imminent ):

so i thought of you last night when i was scared and alone, i thought i was going to die. this isnt the way it was supposed to be.

2009-08-03T00:27:00.001-07:00

As we just met so let's go slow, but no
You just told me to keep you from the cold
Sorry, I can't take it
Why did you fake it?
Why did we kiss?

2009-08-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

Playboy Mansion (:

whee whole day with jl today (: she's so funny. and swore me to secrecy yupp :D and and im supposed to be honoured cause her virgin attempt at camwhoring was with ME. hahahh i gave wing a chance to develop her manly potential. cause she lent me her jacket (yes i was wearing two jackets) and she was totally uncold? like in pe attire? CRAZY. portable heater back in sn used to be frogi / tayrayjan and now they're both gone ): with the wind ):

i can smell the grand arrival of The Time Of The Month. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ): honnnnnnn. i need you ):

i need to go sleep now i am so tired. time check: 21.41. sighx.

(my heart is so disguised.)

2009-08-01T06:54:00.001-07:00

(Like i said you'd leave soon enough. and i smell the end, of our flirtationship.)

IKEA meatballs today omggggg dam super tasty!! plus salmon salmon salmon. hahaha HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY ELLEBEEEEEEEEE! havent seen you in like 1o1 years, and yay finally caught up today (: im still coming to terms with the fact that you're gonna be a policeman ! THAT'S DAM COOL, HONEST. ikea always reminds me of evee and yuhui sighxx when we were so free, with nothing to do but to plan dates after dates ! i miss you twooo. mousey's officially mushroom mousey! evee you're such a mushroom, seriously. you'll morph into one soon enough :D

meeting junling tomorrow YAY haha that silly girl finally dared to put lenses into her eyes hahaha super cute. she makes school so much more bearable, and sundays so much more fun. LOVEEE (:

been listening to celine dion alot lately, her songs always make me super emotional ! she's such a talented singerrr (: i wanna watch titanic again.

FROGI. i can totally imagine you during ballroom dancing classes omg. CANT WAIT. have i told you today that i love you? (i think flirtationship is a really, really cool word. frogi likes it too! :D )OH YAH PEOPLE GO SEE MICHELLEGREEN'S BLOG HAHAHA me posted for herrr. i brought your blog to life frogi (:

i seriously want to just go to sleep, and wake up only when everything's over, when i'll be brave again.

2009-07-31T06:37:00.000-07:00

I THINK RUPERT GRINT IS SO SUPER DUPER MEGA SWEET.

2009-07-31T02:26:00.001-07:00

darling, im in love with you.

so what?

so what?! so plenty ! i love you, you belong to me.

no. people dont belong to people.

2009-07-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

I died.
Again.